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Categories: [Tools]
A handy list of definitions sent to me long ago, adapted slightly to be more on tune with the hobbyist. Feel free to pass along additions. 🙂
DRILL PRESS:
A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, denting the freshly painted project which you had carefully set in the corner where nothing could get to it.
CYANOACRYLATE:
Adhesive used to permanently bond fingertips or remove their prints.
WIRE WHEEL:
Cleans paint or corrosion off parts then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprints and hard-earned calluses from fingers where cyanoacrylate has not already done the job.
CHOP SAW:
A portable cutting tool used to make parts too short.
PLIERS:
Used to round off bolt heads. Sometimes used in the creation of blood-blisters.
BELT SANDER:
An electric sanding tool commonly used to convert minor touch-up jobs into major refinishing jobs.
VISE-GRIPS:
Generally used after pliers to completely round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense brazing heat to the palm of your hand.
OXYACETYLENE TORCH:
Used almost entirely for lighting various flammable objects in your shop on fire.
TABLE SAW:
A large stationary power tool commonly used to launch wood projectiles for testing wall integrity.
BAND SAW:
A stationary power saw primarily used by most shops to cut good sheet stock into smaller pieces that more easily fit into the trash can after you cut on the inside of the line instead of the outside edge.
UTILITY KNIFE:
Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly well on contents such as seats, vinyl records, liquids in plastic bottles, collector magazines, refund checks, and rubber or plastic parts. Especially useful for slicing work clothes, but only while in use.
SON-OF-A-BITCH TOOL:
Any handy tool that you grab and throw across the garage while yelling 'Son of a bitch' at the top of your lungs. It is also, most often, the next tool that you will need.